Oh my god, don't ya just love her already? She can't talk like a spoiled whore and she does the dishes without being reminded---awesome! And you can bring her in front of your friends without the fear of ridicule behind your back because she's blond with nice tits and they all want to fuck her.
But whoa! Hold up, there, asshole. Go find your own Russian broad
here and stay the hell outta my imported pussy!
Yep. Mother Russia, baby. One of them will soon be mine. In fact, when I can finally justify my earnings on paper since I get paid mostly by cash, I'm gonna have my sweetheart Fed Ex'ed over. I love the fact she won't really be able to speak my language, too. The concept just kicks ass in itself.
Just think about it: a woman who doesn't know how to talk back. Yes!
I suspect she'll only be able to speak about 56 words in English, which is fine as long as 3 of them are "yes," "okay," and "sorry." I'm gonna keep her away from television and when my friends are over, I'm gonna give her an American literature book to look at so she, at least, appears intelligent and indigenous to this bullshit country of ours.
Might sound harsh, man, but really, there's not a whole lotta options we got in America because they're all cunts here. Ya know, we've petted them when they were good and rubbed their noses in shit when they were bad. We even gave American women nightlights so they don't sob when we're done with them and go hit up the computer or play some Xbox 360, yet they still complain. So, fuck it. Ordering a wife isn't any different than fishing, anyway. I mean, in this metaphor you can at least pick a trophy bass from overseas instead of a shit-sucking carp in your hometown.
It's caviar compared to sardines, bitch.
What good are American women? Nothing. They're fucking useless. They think they run the country but let's get real; if it weren't for men, broads in America would still be trying to figure out the wheel and living in teepees. Men would have all the flashlights while laughing at every broad swinging their torches. For real, if they're in power at a workplace you know of, they've surely sucked and fucked their way up there because broads nowadays are far too fucking stupid to have earned it.
Think I'm wrong? Please . . .
Who do you think invented all the medication every woman you know is on?
Do you think there were some female doctors in a lab throwing spices and flowers together to result in Prozac?
Think some dipshit broad out there knitted Paxil into swallowing form? Get real.
Ya think Lexipro came from a tampon soaker who couldn't settle down on her own? Jesus Christ. Broads nowadays can't even balance a checkbook, so surely one can't expect them to find a stable emotion to use in everyday life with any sort of persistency.
All I'm saying is I'd rather have a broad in my abode who
appreciates sitting on her lazy ass instead of
expecting it, and if the postage on her costs a few grand, oh well . . .
I'll make more money . . . I can't make back the time I've wasted on worthless whores in this country.
I love Mother Russia and all you blond, blue-eyed women who know how to appreciate what a man does for you. God bless and I'll see you soon, that is, unless of course, Karla Homolka calls me sometime soon, then she and I are going to kidnap a fourteen-year old and bring her back home so we can role play. (Yes, baby, you can break her hymen first because I know how you get jealous like that. Paul loved virgins, but I'll let you take that cherry, unlike your dead sister, Tammy Lyn. Who loves you, baby? I do.)
Karla only passes because she's Canadian. And fine as hell. You American bitches I live with, however . . .
