Personally, I'm a nocturnal being. I hate the sun. In fact, the sun can kiss my ass on the coldest day in January and it can French-kiss it after having not wiped when my sack sticks to my inner thighs in July. I don't really care about the sun even though I know it heats our planet and allows people like you to listen to people like me in addition to making women taste better vaginally (yes, I'm sick like that.)
Hey, man, the sun does wondrous things to our planet like make flowers grow, makes Mexicans sweat in Icelandic greenhouses and makes chicks wear skimpy clothes at the beach, and I'm all for that shit, but with this sun comes heat and with this heat comes baseball season . . . Snore.
Son of a bitch.
Normally I'd rather stick hot lead in my eye than go out during the day because of COCKSUCKING traffic, but someone I know needed some 'tending' to so . . . what the hell. So I got stuck in traffic because of "Opening Day" here in Milwaukee and on the way back from her house, I sat there in my car cursing God's name in a few different languages because all of the people out simply because 60-some assholes were playing hit-the-ball with a stick, and this got me thinking about sports and reminded me why I don't give a shit about any of them even if it rains, shines, hails or penetrates sulfur into a professional athlete's carcass after he died brutally in a bloody, boiling kiln in the seventh ring of Hell inside Lucifer's piss stream.
Sports figures idolized by mainstream media thereeafter it's taught onto you people that watching this bullshit can deliver a sense of morale amongst you groups of beef-eating males is simply preposterous. Drink cheap Miller Lite from the tap every baseball game with the rest of your cohorts and you're no more closer to those assholes on the diamond than a Black guy is closer to a pig simply by eating pork rinds.
'Ur fucked. If you watch sports and care about that team or the individual athlete, you are so fucked because guess which demographic actually purchases tickets instead of scalps them? (Not showing you who
buys . . . rather who
plays. You're supposed to guess who has the money.)
BASEBALL: Great. You dickweeds sat at a baseball game for 4.5 hours out of your life while I sat here and wrote this funny post. Who wins in the end? Greed; I lose. Continue -->
BILLIARDS: I can't say much about this "sport" other than it takes some fine waitresses to bring the beer while ya stand there with your beer gut, aim and shoot and try to focus upon the balls on the table rather than yours in her mouth. I'm not positive, but if one doesn't sweat during the act, I don't know if it's seriously considered a 'sport.' It's kinda like bowling: throw your balls in the same direction long enough you're bound to stick your dick in and claim victory. Practice makes perfect, even for fags.
But hey, winner takes all, hey? Greed.
BASKETBALL: Jesus Christ. I watched this shit 10 years ago when Patrick Ewing was glazing the free-throw line with an anomalistic amount of persperation. Are you STILL seriously showing us that Reggie Miller's sister is accurately telling us what's going on in the locker room? How they haven't bent that broad over backwards and filled her full of 2nd-hand sperm is beyond me.
Shit. I think her name is Cheryl or some shit like that. Put her and Condoleezza in a line-up and I'll just ram thumb tacks into my eyeballs rather than listen to an appointed spokeswoman on a fucking sports network tell me what the men are thinking. Any network, for that matter.
Dude. I hate to say it, but the NBA is so full of . . . . well, I won't say it. Watch Boondocks, you'll see. The NBA is the BET of televised entertainment. Here . . . for all the suburbanites: NBA is to sports is what MTV is to music. There. Eat it.
ICE HOCKEY: How this is still considered a 'Northern' sport escapes me. It seems to me that a bunch of rednecks with elevated equilibrium can, in fact, wear too much padding for such a pussy 'sport.' I mean, if you wear the same type of shoes that they score 'Figure Skating' in, you're not THAT hard, dude. Stick/missing teeth or not, it's just not that interesting, and believe me, I watch "Rescue Me" all the time. Leary doesn't even make hockey seem remotely interesting to greedy, aspiring snowmen.
I'm convinced the NHL is full of frustrated weathermen. Heh, verdict's in, mother fuckers. The cold sucks!
FOOTBALL. Dude. I really don't have to say jack shit about this sport. GA = gamblers anonymous. I can't really talk because I lost $600 on Marshall-greedy-Faulk and the Rams back in '01 and I'm still pissed that dude thought he was the next Thurmon Thomas. Hold up . . . lemme shed my tear because Favre retired. Good. Maybe all you fuckin' factory workers will now look to "The Undertaker" as a role model and something to talk about while you're sucking bologna sandwiches on your lunch breaks. Fuck . . . I'm pretty sure they're the same age.
Hey, not taking anything away from Brett, just saying you likely should put more concentration into your own fucking lives rather than some celebrity who doesn't even know you exist, asshole.
He's human. You're human. Stop starfucking. But more importantly, fuck Madden!
I can't even believe EA Sports wants to charge $60 for a fucking video game they exclusively own the rights to year after year after year after year after fucking year. Eat dick, EA. (Electronic Arts.) Real art, there, assholes. Art of being a whore! GREED!!!!
FIFA =
SOCCER . . . Whoa, awesome! 16+ sprinters running around a park trying to kick a ball into a net. Choke me so I don't suffocate on my own tongue at the excitement!
Man . . . This is so big in Europe. Ya know, in greedy Europe they love rally racing, as well. Sometimes those rally cars stray off the track and hit the pedestrians, which makes one wonder why a serial killer doesn't just go onto the field and start decapitating soccer players because all they do is run around a field and kick a ball that unfortunately isn't filled with plutonium.
Wouldn't that be great? An English fag kicked it and it just exploded then evaporated everyone in the palladium??
Rome. Shit. Fucking soccer.
Besides, who the fuck would want to run around this much? I don't even have that much energy to talk during sex, but these guys find joy in kicking a ball and running after it. I don't get it. Obviously any soccer player has not yet discovered the joys Marlboro brings to us humans. Assholes.
WWF. Ohhhh . . . I'm sorry.
WWE. I guess the greedy McMahon family needed yet another whirlpool jet shooting up their ass. This grown-man soap-opera disgusts me! Every fucking member of security at your local strip club loves this WWE shit. It's funny how bartenders, deejays and owners look at you all and laugh.
Son of a bitch!
I swear, once every two weeks some customer at the club tells me I look like some wrestler named "Kane." I'm happy that I have no idea what this dude looks like. I'm doubly happy that I don't play with other men to make a living. Just bitches.
GOLF: This is pretty much a cliché by now. You're rich, you're old and your wife is on basically 3 different prescribed meds while 20-year olds pound her pussy purple while you're on the 16th hole. You're White, wealthy . . . we get it, but she's never been a stripper. Hell, I know at least one greedy fucker who's fucked her sassy labia into an ant hole. 35 and up . . . let's get real, she' kinda up for grabs. I never fucked one personally . . . but on a Thursday night up in the deejay booth, my finger might have smelt something familiar had I punched a golfer in the fucking face.
BOXING: Uhh . . . Yea. Look, I don't know where you're from, but I really DO NOT need to see two Black guys going at it yet again. This sport is second to only football in terms of gambling. It's only glorified because of the two assholes in the ring are stupider than anyone watching, but because of how much greedier the wealthy can get because of the outcome, America embraces it. Greed. And I don't really give a shit how much the Lord is in his life; the guy is just a greedy fucker.
SPORTS = GREED. ATHELETES = GREED. The commercials one watches during televised sporting events = GREED.